What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 03:01

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
TEXT:
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Why are men today so pussiefied?
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Where can I sell naked pics of myself online?
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
What caused North Korea to go poor when at first it was rich?
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
As a guy, how do you know you if you are considered attractive?
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
What should I do if I love a girl and she apparently doesn't love me?
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
How can I fall asleep fast at night?
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Make Nazis afraid again!
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
I dreamt my mother had died and I cried so much in my dream. What does it mean?
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!